MEMOS FROM A TEEN
1. Don't spoil me. I know quite
well that I ought not to have all that I ask for. I'm only testing you;
I know where I stand.
2. Don't make me feel smaller
than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly "BIG."
3. Don't correct me in front
of people if you can help it. I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly
with me in private.
4. Don't protect me from consequences.
I need to learn the painful way. Sometimes, I need to learn from experience.
5 Don't be too upset when I
say "I hate you." It isn't you I hate, but your power to thwart me. I don't
mean it, but I want you to feel sorry for what you have done to me.
6. Don't take too much notice
of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need. I may
learn to enjoy poor health if it gets me the attention I seek.
7. Don't nag. If you do, I
shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
8. Don't tax my honesty too
much. I am easily frightened into telling lies.
9. Don't tell me my fears are
silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you
try to understand.
10. Don't put me off when I
ask HONEST questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek
11. Don't ever suggest that
you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover
you are neither.
12. Don't ever think it is
beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel
surprisingly warm toward you.
13. Don't forget how quickly
I am growing up. It must be very difficult to keep pace with me, but please
14. Don't forget I love experimenting.
I couldn't get on without it, so please put up with it.
15. Don't use force with me.
It teaches me that power is what counts. I respond more readily to being
16. Don't be inconsistent.
That confuses me and makes me try harder to get away with everything I
17. Don't make promises, you
may not be able to keep them. That will only discourage my trust in you.
18. Don't fall for my provocation's
when I say and do things just to upset you. Then
I'll try for more such "victories."
19. Don't do things for me
that I can do for myself. It makes me feel like a baby and I may continue
to put you in my service.
20. Don't try to discuss my
behavior in the heat of a conflict. For some reason, my hearing is not
very good at this time and my cooperation is even worse. It is all right
to take the action required, but let's not talk about it until later.
21. Don't try to preach to
me You'd be surprised how well I know what's right and wrong.
22. Don't make me feel that
my mistakes are sins. I have to learn to make mistakes without feeling
that I am no good.
23. Don't let my fears arouse
your anxiety. Then I will become more afraid. Show me courage.
24. Don't worry about the little
amount of time we spend together. It is how we spend the time that counts.
25. Don't forget that I can't
thrive without lots of understanding and encouragement, but I don't need
to tell you that, do I?
THEN I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND
REMEMBER, I LEARN MORE FROM
THAN A CRITIC.
(1998 - 2004) By Larry's Dream,