A simple friend has never seen you cry.

A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents first names.

A real friend has their numbers in their address books.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.

A real friend comes early to help you cook, and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they're in bed.

A real friend asks you why it took so long for you to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.

A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.

A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.

A real friend opens the refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.

A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A simple friend will read this and throw it away.

A real friend will send it back to you until he's sure it's been received.